I don’t know what impelled me to read this “Dear Margo” column online except for the fact I was cruising through some news on Yahoo News & saw this headline: “Say Cheese…But Keep Your Clothes On.” No, I wasn’t looking for nude pictures Koo, but rather I thought it would be some silly story about someone de-robing on accident or something. It was under the “Most Viewed: Entertainment” section of the News in Yahoo.
Well, it read something like this:
Thu Nov 8, 2:00 AM ET
DEAR MARGO: I recently broke up with my boyfriend of four years. We parted on good terms and remain friends. Once, when we were intimate, we captured ourselves on film, with the understanding that the pictures would be promptly deleted. He assured me he had done this. Occasionally, when he goes away on business trips, I’ll check on his house and cat for him. I’ve done this for years . . . checked his mail, fed the cat. Recently, I don’t know what compelled me, but I began to search specifically for those photos. I found them, along with others (not me). I was hurt, shocked, mad — everything at once.
I have not told him I know about them, and I actually left them as I found them. I’m torn between taking them and destroying them, or leaving them and pretending I didn’t see them. I don’t want him to feel I violated his privacy, yet I definitely want them gone and I’d like to tell him where they went. I’m afraid to have them around, and the agreement was that they would be destroyed.
What’s the right thing to do?
— CHAGRINED AND DISAPPOINTED
DEAR CHAG: He broke his word to you, therefore you may remove the pictures from his stash with a clear conscience. There is no need for an announcement, either. If he is in the habit of looking at these, uh, keepsakes, he will know immediately where they went, and why.
For any qualms you might have, look at the situation as your personal, pictorial version of copyright law. Just consider that you own your own image and reclaimed it because he proved himself untrustworthy. The worst that can happen is that you won’t get to feed the cat.
— MARGO, ACCEPTABLY
Well, that’s the advice given by Margo (who is the daughter of Ann Landers, by the way). My advice would be instead:
Dear Chagrined & Disappointed:
You had the wool pulled over your eyes. If he’s done this to you once, he’s probably done it to you on other occasions.
Only real answer: get back at him.
Set him up. He must trust you enough to give the keys to his house. Well, send him letters or flowers as if you were someone else & get his hopes up high & drop him like an anvil. Set up secret cameras taking pics of him at his own house — set them up while he’s away. Post pics of him on the Internet for fun. And use everything on his computer against him.
Once you get back at him and once he’s as embarrassed as much as you are, then say “Remember when?….” Most importantly, back up a copy of those photos to show him how he lied to you.
What do you think? Should I set up a “Dear Brandon” column? My mom wasn’t Ann Landers, but…
Actually, I wanted to be harsher and word this better, but I’m so freakin’ tired right now. Zzzzzzzzzzz…..